Mock Neither Money Nor Honor

The title of this post is loosely translated from the original Spanish phrase. The phrase in Spanish is: “no te burles ni del dinero ni del honor.”

Basically, money and honor are above all else.

Don’t believe me?

Let me “borrow” a few hundred bucks that I won’t pay back even though I have every intention to do so.

I was thinking about awkward conversations and how much I hate having them. I will go to great lengths to avoid having an awkward conversation. I will move to a different country if I have to.

There was this girl that I knew and liked, back in high school. She liked me too and we’d been sort of flirting with the idea of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

My mom, was not a fan of this girl.

She was on the swim team, so we got to spend a lot of time together in different cities while we were at swim meets and whatnot.

One of those swim meets, was in Caracas, the capital city. This girl and a few of her friends snuck out of the hotel and went to a club. This happened unbeknownst to my mom, who was the official chaperon. I was staying in the room with my mom, so I was out of the “let’s go to the club tonight” loop.

At about 4 am, there’s a knock on the door. My mom answers to see that it’s hotel security. They want to know if these kids that are outside, claiming to be guests at the hotel and claiming to be a part of our group, are actually who they say they are.

So yeah, not a good thing.

Anyway, a day or two later, we’re still at the meet and my mom comes in to the room livid. This same girl, got her period while we were on the trip and she didn’t have any money to buy her feminine hygiene products because she spent all her money at the club.

bert-slow-look

This girl, actually had the balls to insult my mom.

This dirty ho, told my mom in the most disrespectful tone possible, that it was my mom’s responsibility as the team chaperon to provide her with feminine hygiene products. Oh hell no.

A few days later, we’re back at home, and this girl wants to meet with me so we can talk about what happened in Caracas. So, I setup an appointment to meet with her which happened to be at the same time that I was supposed to be on a plane on my way to Miami. I was actually able to pick out the mall that I was supposed to meet her at from the cityscape below as the plane climbed into the sky.

So yeah, I went to a different country in order to avoid having an awkward conversation. In reality, I guess it was more of a dick move on my behalf to tell this girl to meet me somewhere that I knew I couldn’t possibly be at. Although, technically I was there, I was just several thousand feet above where she was probably sitting.

In my defense, the girl insulted my mom’s honor, and she got what she deserved as far as I’m concerned.