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Internet Marketing Gurus Suck

Rafael — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:06:44 +0000

That’s right, if you’re an “Internet Marketing guru” you suck. Let me tell you why:

Most of you offer nothing of value. If you do offer something of value, it’s seriously overpriced. All you seem interested in, is in fleecing your customers for every penny they’ve got, and then some. You suck for that.
You support people like James Arthur Ray, who stands accused of killing 3 people, and is at least morally guilty of a fourth death.
You support people like David Schirmer.
You schlep crap like “The Secret” and the “Law” of attraction.
Have you no shame? You want to sell a jpeg printout (read a picture) of a doll for $50?
You just repackage and resell Private Label Right (PLR) products and pass them off as your own.
You resell the same junk over and over again. I know people keep buying it, but do you really have to sell the same crap over and over again? You suck for that.
None of you talk about the realities of owning and running an online business. I’m talking the part about taxes, state comptrollers, IRS regulations, credit card merchant rules etc. You know that if you did tell people about all that, they’ll likely not buy the crap that you’re selling. You suck for that.
You make it seem like it’s so freaking easy. Seriously, take a few minutes to listen to a pitch from an Idaho based internet marketing guru and wrestler and you’ll see what I mean.
You pray on people’s dreams and desires for a better life, you pretend to care, you pretend to want to help, but really all you care about is money. You suck for that.

I don’t care if your “company” was featured on Inc. 500, it means nothing to me unless you’re truthful about how you got there. I don’t care that you were on Oprah, Larry King, or whatever other TV show. You suck and I’m done with you.

You are conniving, manipulative, deceitful and untrustworthy.

Despite all that, I want to thank you.

Thank you for opening my eyes to what you truly are.

You’ve made me realize that evil doesn’t always look like a demon with horns, breathing fire and threatening to take your soul.

Devil

Evil comes at you in an $5000 suit, wearing nice shoes, driving an expensive luxury car and invites you to dinner at “their” big house or a fancy restaurant. All of which is financed with the hopes and dreams of suckers.

For the record, not all internet marketers are schmucks.

There is a small cadre of people that are really interested in teaching other people the ropes and showing people where the land mines are. The problem, is that it’s a small cadre. There are many “big name” and “legends in their own mind” big name people that are only out to fleece you with their frauduct.

Don’t fall for their ploy.

Shame on you “gurus” for taking advantage of the poor and desperate. Shame on me for not noticing the farce earlier.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ste3ve/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Phlashmob at the Hard Rock Casino

Rafael — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:30:20 +0000

This is a pretty cool video. For the record, a flash mob is essentially a group of people that show up suddenly someplace and start dancing or doing something else. I think this particular flashmob is great since it’s in a casino.

Here’s another flash mob, but this one is an MC Hammer one. I’d rank it higher than the first one, but it was produced by A&E to promote a TV show:

I love the look on people’s faces when the flash mob starts doing it’s thing.

Are you a rat?

Rafael — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:45:21 +0000

I’m not talking about the Chinese zodiac sign, which I happen to be. I’m talking about something completely different.

On Sunday, I read “Crush It!” from cover to cover. Among many other things, it reminded me of a TV show that I used to watch. Do any of y’all remember the show Dharma and Greg?

During an episode on the show, Greg left his stable job with the US Attorney’s office to “strike it out on his own.” One of his co-workers from the DA’s office, Pete, was talking to Greg’s girlfriend, Dharma, about how much he admired Greg for leaving the rat race.

Pete was waxing poetic about Greg leaving and going to be his own man and go stand on his own.

Pete kept lavishing praises on Greg for leaving the rat race behind and going to follow his dreams. Dharma asked Fred:

Why don’t you join Greg and leave the rat race behind too?

Pete replied:

Oh no, I’m a rat.

This scene has been in my head for sometime now. I always think of it whenever I try to do my own thing and stand on my own.

Crush It! has made me take the time to figure out if I’m a rat or not.

I don’t mean the word “rat” in the traditional sense of something nasty and ugly, but merely as a euphemism for working the Monday-Friday 9-5 with the stable paycheck and health insurance, commuting 2 hours a day in bumper to bumper traffic to a job you hate with people you only moderately like where you work for 30 years and get to retire from.

Come to think of it, maybe I do mean “rat” in an ugly sense, but I digress.

I don’t necessarily believe that being a rat in the rat race is better or worse than not being a rat in the rat race. I just think that I should know if I’m a rat that belongs in the rat race or not.

Of the many things to think about before striking it out on your own, I suggest you figure out if you’re a rat in the rat race or not.

I can tell you if other people belong in the rat race. My girlfriend, although she hates every minute of it, belongs in the rat race. She needs that security blanket, she needs to be one of the masses. My dad is also a rat from the rat race. I’d be a fool if I said that being in the rat race is bad. It’s actually quite comfy.

Besides, I have kids to feed and care for, so I too need the regular paycheck and health insurance. It’s the commute etc. that I can be without.

I’ve tried breaking away from the rat race several times, only to be beaten back into conformance. I’ve tried branching out with an SEO firm, that failed. I tried other side business, they failed. I tried being a commissioned sales person, and failed at that. I was moderately successful as a cab driver, but the overhead was killing me.

Just so you know, a cab driver in Austin pays the company about $500 a week to lease and operate the cab. Tip generously whenever you ride a cab.

I loved owning my own business, I hated having to work for so many hours and have so little to show for it. You know, had I been more plugged in with social media when I was driving the cab, I would’ve crushed it with the college kids.

In the end, I always come back to the rat race.

Writing this post has helped me see that I’m always looking for ways to leave the rat race behind. I just haven’t found a way to make it work.

Yet.