Dear Coffee, I’m Breaking Up With You

Dear Coffee,

I’m Breaking Up  With You.

Sorry to be so blunt about it. This should not be a surprise to you. You know that up until a couple of months ago, you were a very significant part of my life. You were the first thing I’d drink in the morning, then I’d have you a couple more times throughout the day. Always with your friends cream and sugar. Sometimes, I’d get you all fancy and delicious from Starbucks for $5 a pop.

Remember a couple of months ago when I just stopped drinking you? The first few days without you were a living hell. The headaches and withdrawal were awful. But after that, I no longer craved you.

In fact, these last 3 months without you have been blissful. I don’t get headaches anymore, I don’t get heart palpitations, I don’t shake when I don’t have you. It’s just been amazing.

I’ve noticed that if I don’t eat a lot of carbs, I don’t get drowsy and I don’t feel the need to have you. I’ve also noticed that when it’s time to sleep, I can go to sleep right away without a problem. When it’s time to wake up, I can wake up just fine. I’ve also been in a surprisingly better mood too.

Tell your two friends, sugar and creamer, that I shan’t be seeing them either. I know that you’re good just by yourself, and maybe if you come along without your friends we can hang out from time to time. I just don’t know if that’s a good idea or not. Specially after this week.

I’ve hung out with you and your friends again this week, and I gotta tell you, I didn’t enjoy it at all. The taste of the cream and sugar was just too much. I had to make myself drink you, and that’s just not right.

In fact, after having you just three times this week, I’m having headaches and stomach cramps and other things again.

I guess, the bottom line, is that I don’t need you in my life.

I used to want you in my life, but now, I don’t feel that way.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want you in my life anymore.

I’m sorry that I’m being so blunt about this, but sometimes you have to be blunt to get a point across.

Take care of yourself.



Rafael is an aviation geek, a consumer advocate, a dad, a multiple personality blogger, a photographer, politically opinionated, a videographer and many other things as well.

2 thoughts on “Dear Coffee, I’m Breaking Up With You

  • April 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    I had this same talk with Coffee a few months ago… and her sister, Energy Drink.

  • May 1, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I never had an affair with energy drink, but yeah, she needs to go too. All the sugar water that they sell and pretend it’s juice also needs to go too.

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