Internet Marketing Gurus Suck

That’s right, if you’re an “Internet Marketing guru” you suck. Let me tell you why:

  1. Most of you offer nothing of value. If you do offer something of value, it’s seriously overpriced. All you seem interested in, is in fleecing your customers for every penny they’ve got, and then some. You suck for that.
  2. You support people like James Arthur Ray, who stands accused of killing 3 people, and is at least morally guilty of a fourth death.
  3. You support people like David Schirmer.
  4. You schlep crap like “The Secret” and the “Law” of attraction.
  5. Have you no shame? You want to sell a jpeg printout (read a picture) of a doll for $50?
  6. You just repackage and resell Private Label Right (PLR) products and pass them off as your own.
  7. You resell the same junk over and over again. I know people keep buying it, but do you really have to sell the same crap over and over again? You suck for that.
  8. None of you talk about the realities of owning and running an online business. I’m talking the part about taxes, state comptrollers, IRS regulations, credit card merchant rules etc. You know that if you did tell people about all that, they’ll likely not buy the crap that you’re selling. You suck for that.
  9. You make it seem like it’s so freaking easy. Seriously, take a few minutes to listen to a pitch from an Idaho based internet marketing guru and wrestler and you’ll see what I mean.
  10. You pray on people’s dreams and desires for a better life, you pretend to care, you pretend to want to help, but really all you care about is money. You suck for that.

I don’t care if your “company” was featured on Inc. 500, it means nothing to me unless you’re truthful about how you got there. I don’t care that you were on Oprah, Larry King, or whatever other TV show. You suck and I’m done with you.

You are conniving, manipulative, deceitful and untrustworthy.

Despite all that, I want to thank you.

Thank you for opening my eyes to what you truly are.

You’ve made me realize that evil doesn’t always look like a demon with horns, breathing fire and threatening to take your soul.


Evil comes at you in an $5000 suit, wearing nice shoes, driving an expensive luxury car and invites you to dinner at “their” big house or a fancy restaurant. All of which is financed with the hopes and dreams of suckers.

For the record, not all internet marketers are schmucks.

There is a small cadre of people that are really interested in teaching other people the ropes and showing people where the land mines are. The problem, is that it’s a small cadre. There are many “big name” and “legends in their own mind” big name people that are only out to fleece you with their frauduct.

Don’t fall for their ploy.

Shame on you “gurus” for taking advantage of the poor and desperate. Shame on me for not noticing the farce earlier.


Rafael is an aviation geek, a consumer advocate, a dad, a multiple personality blogger, a photographer, politically opinionated, a videographer and many other things as well.