Of Men and Dudes

What makes a man?

Is it the clothes? Is it the job? Is it how much money they have? Is it how good a father they are? How good a protector they are? How good a provider? How good a partner they are? What they drive? How mature they are? What is it?

I think that an important factor is to consider is the judge.

The person doing the judging has to have some kind of footing before they can judge your manliness or lack thereof.

After all, being told “be a man” by Leslie the cross dresser on 6th street carries a different weight than being told that same thing by your father.

What separates a “man“ from a “boy“ or a “dude“?

Have you ever taken the time to figure out where you fit on that spectrum?

I know that in many areas, I’m far from being a “man” but I’m also far from being a “boy”. If I had to pigeon hole myself, I’d say I’m a “dude“.

There are a lot of things that I need to work on, this I know. My maturity for one, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.

I think that there’s a sliding scale. A manliness scale if you will. It probably goes something like this:

Infant > kid/ boy > teenager > guy/ dude > man > stick in the mud.

That makes sense to me.

Sort of like the definition of a relationship. You know the one. The one that says that we’re blanks that operate on a binary that vacilates between the need for autonomy and the fear of loneliness. That one.

Looking at that scale, I just realized something.

As a “dude” I can easily swing to either extreme depending on the situation.

Maybe I’m on to something here…

What do you think? Are you a “man” or a “dude?” Is there anything wrong with being one over the other?